maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
