How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
