carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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