I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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