you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
