My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
