you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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