big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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