They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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