Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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