dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize