I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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