He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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