Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
