'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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