Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
