i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize