Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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