She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
