Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize