it's too hot outside to masturbate.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
