no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
