I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
