escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize