then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
