I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
