Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
