yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
high people should be assigned attendants
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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