Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
