You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
