he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
