You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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