fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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