forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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