How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
