I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
