well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
