So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
