Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
