Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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