Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
