Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
