If i come over, it means nothing
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
