i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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