how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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