if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
