She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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