You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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