it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
