if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
