so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
