Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize