I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
