so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
