Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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