Whats the count minus fat chicks?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
