The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
