I just made out with a guy for $7.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
