Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
