I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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