(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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