I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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