You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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