I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
