hotel room ftw
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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