exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
