I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
