youre lurking in front of me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
