if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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