I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
